New Year, New Me?
New Year’s resolutions-amiright? If you’re anything like me, you have a visceral reaction to the mention of resolutions. My body tightens up and constricts; I feel queasiness in my throat and chest, and I feel the urge to give an exaggerated eye roll. Somewhere within my own depths I understand resolutions to be a tool of capitalistic oppression: if I just will it, I’ll lose those pounds (just give money to the diet/exercise industry). Or THIS is the year to make that big trip to Europe (you know you’ve made it if you can afford that!). Or maybe I’ll practice gratitude EVERY morning this year (just send those dollars to the wellness industry!).
Don’t get me wrong; those are all worthy goals if they mean something to you. If they are coming from that place within you that knows your truths, that has connected to the parts of your soul working towards its ultimate expression of the radical “you.” But all too often, we think of resolutions as a chance to reinvent ourselves-or, again, conform to the societal pressures of what it means to be worthy of taking up space, of existing, of getting your needs met. Yes, I’m such a cliche therapist-but I’ll continue to say this until you feel it in every fiber of your body (and hell-my body, too!): inherent in being alive is the existential right to be in this world and to live your life as you.
There is no such thing as the new you. There never will be. And there never should be, because this you is perfect in all of its imperfections. You are not inherently broken, your body just needs that reminder that it has everything it needs because sometimes we just forget how to listen. This is not to say you shouldn’t grow! Quite the contrary, in fact. But growth is not changing who you are. Growth is becoming more you; not less, not conforming, not changing who you are.
From this idea-take some time this New Years season to check in with yourself. Connect with your body in whatever way you do that (meditation, exercise, deep breathing, self-massage or touch). Allow yourself, first and foremost, to connect to the depths of your own self. Literally. Can you feel the organs within you working hard to keep you alive? Can you feel your feet-sturdy and strong, connected to the earth? Can you notice blood flowing through your veins? Become oriented to the entirety of this meat suit you carry around. And from there, ask yourself-how do I become more me? What purpose am I connected or not connected to? What intentions do I hold for 2024 that will help me connect to the deepest parts of my soul?
As Michael Meade so eloquently put it; “to be purposeful is not to be goal oriented, but to seek to reconnect to the source of one’s life.” How will you reconnect to the source of your life?
