“There’s definitely a deep, there’s a deep fear of…annihilation isn’t the right word but there’s something about, like, going beyond the ego because it’s unanchored, right? ~Sarah Buino
“…as we move towards freedom, there’s always madness… ~Livia Budrys
Radical transparency is overwhelming, messy, scary. It’s also empowering. In a year marked by long-overdue exposure of the myriad illnesses affecting our society, I humbly offer up the first of several deeply personal conversations. I’m grateful to my best friend and incredible human Livia Budrys for riding shotgun on this episode. She’s a beautiful presence in my life and an insightful honorary co-host.
If you’re a longtime Conversations… fan – thank you, btw – you know I’ve no problem sharing (to a fault!). And why not? This stigma associated with therapists seeking support is both ridiculous and dangerous – to our own mental health and to how we show up for our clients.
As Livia says, this year has forever changed the impetus for disclosure.
It’s no coincidence that as old ways of existing crumble under the weight of 2020, many folks feel buried under the bricks. I mean, who the hell can continue to carry all the things? Guess who thought she had to. Guess who fought to keep her foundation of complex childhood trauma tucked neatly under the weight of internalized perfectionism and societal expectation.
Unsurprisingly, your girl fell into a crisis.
I pushed through because life, until doing so was no longer an option. In a culture without limits, I’d run headlong towards mine, a cliff’s edge where suicidal ideation eventually supplanted pushing through. But accepting that I needed intensive therapy and disentangling myself from daily life were two points along this healing journey road-blocked by ego and fear.
None of my professional experience could save me from just letting go and doing the work. There’s no therapeutic shorthand on the road to recovery.
Far from a blow-by-blow chronicle of my stay, our discussion is more an exploration of my ongoing emotional transformation. This is me: wounded and healing in the same breath. What does it mean to live and practice in the full expression of that humanity, and why is it profoundly important that we all try to embody this spirit going forward?
Let’s pull back the curtain together.
Livia Budrys is the pioneer of the Yoga-Informed Psychotherapy trainings and is dedicated to the integration of neurobiology, somatics, yoga and psychotherapy practices. She is a licensed Clinical Social Worker holding a Masters of Social Service and Administration from the University of Chicago. Livia is also a Certified Yoga Therapist with the International Association of Yoga Therapists and a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (SEP).
If you’d like to contribute to the work Sarah is doing, join the community on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/WoundedHealr
Leave a review in Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/conversations-with-a-wounded-healer/id1356225272
Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork.
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